Annihilation and Kisses

Many years ago, I shared a kiss with a man who is one of my soul mates in this life.  A force opened up which moved through us connecting Heaven and Earth.  It poured down from Heaven through his body and rose up from the Earth through mine, sealing us together with electromagnetism so powerful that we both heard the roar of the Nada Brahma, the original, “unstruck sound” upon which Creation rests.

Due to the circumstances of our lives, there was no place to take this, so we let it go.  I wrote poetry.  He took comfort from my writings, and eventually, the balm of time did its magic work of helping the experience to fade from memory…  until a few weeks ago when once again my breath and the breath of a soul mate entwined, and now all those memories are crashing back.

kiss.001

 

 I find myself asking if Free Will exists.

And I find myself yearning, not for the human being who held me, but for the Infinite force which embraced me through him.  I find myself wondering if it is not the flesh and blood man whom I love, but rather the transcendent power of Love itself.

For the human being who is the vessel for the Beloved this time is often clueless or in denial.  He runs about trying to label the experience.  He says he has never before felt ‘not in control of [his] own body’.  It terrifies him.   He feels almost usurped by forces he cannot explain.   He claims Love is utmost in his life and that he has been in Love more than once, but in truth, he has never before experienced what it is to have Love reside within him so completely that his ideas of who he is are first dwarfed and then annihilated.  So he runs away.  He stands me up, leaving me alone yearning in the dark.  If I am upset, instead of hearing me with a compassionate heart, he becomes defensive, thinking, “What is so wrong with me?”  so he loses his temper and barks like a mindless dog, saying things to hurt me, saying he loves other people more than me.  And on a good day, he simply makes a million excuses to prove he will test my patience, cause harm,  and persistently be unworthy.

And I have seen all this before, so what can I possibly say?  Big Love is terrifying.  It shows us all our darkness, all our pettiness, all our inadequacy, every growing edge we have.  We glorify Love, idealize it, romanticize it, but really most of us prefer the vague empty isolation of safety to the formless void of annihilation and the utter powerlessness of real surrender. To love requires tremendous courage and if one genuinely persists in the practice of loving, one will unfold into fearlessness.  This is the Path to Liberation.  It is.

Most human beings are quite willing to settle for an imitation.

So if I see all this, how can it be that I love this man with all his shortcomings, fears, ego control strategies and pockets of immaturity who runs from what I know is the only Real Reality? I cannot possibly love him, eh?  Why would I?  And yet I do.   With all my heart and soul.   And when he runs away or hides, every edge I have still to polish, every rough, unfinished place inside my soul is brought to light and I, too, am childish, immature, fearful, struggling for control.  I, too, am far less than worthy.

But when we touch,  we melt.  We disappear…  We vanish. And in these incredible moments of magic, gazing back at me through the eyes of this human being are thousands of lifetimes, eons, of recognition… Infinite Love… Eternity.

The why and how of who Love chooses is an eternal mystery.  If it were solved, that solution would most probably deprive life of much of it’s magic.  For, certainly, we Love beyond reason, and that is exactly what stretches us in ways we would never consider stretching if Love were not burning us with its fire, torturing us with its yearning and seducing us with its warm, deep ecstasies.   That is what Love does to us– it drives us toward Life.

We like to believe we choose Love, but that is all the greatest hubris.   Love chooses us.  And ultimately, Love does not choose to make us comfortable, it chooses to destroy our limitations and liberate us from the prisons of the mind, to do whatever it takes to awaken us to its own ineluctable Reality.

Fierce and Tender Love,
Murshida VA

__________________________
Credits: Image

Revitalising Tantra: I

“The basic principle of Tantrism was that women possess a more unbounded spiritual energy than men, and a man could achieve realization of the divinity only through sexual and emotional union with a woman. A fundamental rite was controlled sexual intercourse, maithuna. This requires reservation to the extent that control over male ejaculation must be good enough for the female to fully enter her own sexual ecstasy without the male precipitously bringing the intimate union to a false climax. Tantra is in essence, a fertility rite…  (www.dhushara.com.  See clipmarks  in references, below).

Sex, hopefully, will never go out of style. But what about the Yoga of Sex? What about Sex Magick? What about Tantra?

Last October, I was in Los Angeles at a business meeting with two executives from Topco, one of the largest sex toy manufacturers in the world. We spent a good portion of the meeting discussing the effects of over-commercialization on Tantra. Basically, Tantra is now deemed to be unmarketable by the “Adult Industry”. Consumers have become numb. The word, ‘Tantra’ has lost it’s mystery and appeal. Why? Largely because such a wide array of sexual products and experiences have been marketed as “Tantric” that consumers no longer view Tantra as holding any power. Basically, the public magnetism of the word is shot.
Kali and Shiva, the Divine Lovers. (Kali is the one on top, with the sword).
Kali and Shiva, the Divine Lovers. (Kali is the one on top, with the sword).

This is particularly ironic if one considers the history and practice of Tantra as a Path. Tantra, the inclusive, Left-Handed path celebrating the Divine Lovers as Kali (often as Shakti) and Shiva, genuinely seeks to increase the magnetism of ordinary human sexual experience, and indeed the magnetism all of human experience, until the practitioner becomes exquisitely and totally alive, and every cell of the organism awakens toward Enlightenment.

Tantric Mastery is quite the opposite of numbness. So how has Tantra become synonymous with numbness in the Adult Industry? The answer is simple: whatever was being hocked at the market, it never was Tantra.

Tantra, Sex Magick, Sexual Shamanism, and all mystical practices associated with human sexuality, regardless of the names humans give them, are part of the deepest mysteries of the Spiritual Path. As such, they can never be marketed, actually, because, by definition, the mysteries are only available to the deserving few… those who respect the Source and who have attained sufficient Mastery over themselves to engage in the practice.  So what happens when a major sex toy retailer tries to market a deep mystery?  What is marketed is not the mystery, but only the inference that the mystery exists and the implication that by purchasing such-and-such toy (or book or tape) one may actually stumble onto the mysteries of the ages.

Just remove the sex from this idea and the wide-spread American obsession with reducing  anything, anything, really, into a quantifiable entity-which-can-therefore-be-commercially-reproduced-in-adequately-large-quantities-so-as-to-be-sufficiently-lucrative-to-warrant-distribution-for-sale rears its oh-so-common head.  We truly believe we can buy anything in this country.  So, maybe having less expendable cash will make us more deeply consider all the aspects of life which are not for sale, can never be for sale and are more precious than any price.  This consideration could bring our entire nation closer to the real message of Tantra than any amount of commercialization.  It could.  It might.  It also might take a while.

So, in the meantime, go ahead, take your hubby to Tantra Tai Chi  workshops– Dianna and Richard are wonderful, and Dianna will be the first to admit, she actually knows nothing about Tantra. She is simply trying to help people deal with their sexual energy. Is there anything wrong with this? Oh, no, not at all. In fact, if you can’t move through the wounds and blocks in your first two chakras you are never going to get to your heart, not really, and you certainly aren’t going to get the whole system hooked up and balanced.

So read David Deida– great guy, makes no claims, writes wonderful books .   Study Margot Anand– The Art of Sexual Ecstasy is, after all, one of the greatest books on sex ever written. Explore any and all workshops available, but don’t for a moment think anyone who calls themselves a Master in public knows anything, really. Some might, but for most Americans, Tantra is just a word.

It means, hopefully, better sex. And nothing is wrong with that at all. The fact that people have been seeking more fulfilling sexual experiences is wonderful. Healing will come of it… Oh, pun intended, of course.

But the Path called Tantra, while it is rooted in the realization that everything in manifest existence is one exquisite sexual dance,  is at the same time about much more than sex.  It is a devotion to the most radical journey toward Enlightenment available to human beings. It is swift, and it is dangerous. And the real Tantra, well, it’s simply not commonly available. No matter how publicized or tired the word becomes. You won’t find it at your local bookstores on the bestseller lists. And it is definitively not for everyone.

As to whether or not Tantra is actually a fertility right… that is an inquiry for another day.


References:

David Deida’s wonderful books- http://www.amazon.com/Way-Superior-Man-David-Deida/dp/1591792576/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1251407034&sr=1-1)

Dianna and Richard Daffner and the Tantra Tai Chi Workshops– http://tantrataichi.com

Margot Anand’s brilliant book, The Art of Sexual Ecstasyhttp://www.amazon.com/Art-Sexual-Ecstasy-Sexuality-Western/dp/0874775817/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1251406980&sr=8-1

clipped from www.dhushara.com
The basic principle of Tantrism was that women possess a more unbounded spiritual energy than men, and a man could achieve realization of the divinity only through sexual and emotional union with a woman. A fundamental rite was controlled sexual intercourse, maithuna. This requires reservation to the extent that control over male ejaculation must be good enough for the female to fully enter her own sexual ecstasy without the male precipitously bringing the intimate union to a false climax. Tantra in its essence is a fertility rite in which there is a complete consummation of the female and male sexual energies and thus must centrally also involve male fertilization of the female.
blog it